In novels, characters grow and evolve with every page. It’s what makes their stories worth telling, keeps us hooked, and brings depth to their journeys. But does that same arc apply to real life? It’s a question I find myself pondering often. Sure, our perspectives shift, we pick up new routines, habits, or quirks along the way. But does that mean our core character changes, or are we just adding layers, like ornaments on a Christmas tree?
It’s tempting to think of character as something akin to intelligence: it grows and matures up to a point, but eventually, it levels off. If you consider that idea, perhaps our character solidifies somewhere in our twenties or early thirties. After that, we’re left to navigate life with the essence we’ve shaped during those crucial years. We might add more life experiences and wisdom, but at the core, we remain who we’ve always been.
If that’s the case, it could explain why many people, despite changing circumstances or significant life events, seem to maintain certain patterns or behaviors. It’s not that they aren’t learning or experiencing personal growth; it’s just that the foundation was laid long ago, and now they’re living with it. This realization can bring both comfort and unease—comfort in the stability it offers, and unease in the idea that we might be stuck with ourselves, for better or for worse.
In a sense, this understanding might help us accept the imperfections and limitations that come with being human. It could explain why some aspects of life feel like a recurring struggle, or why others manage to navigate those same challenges with ease. Perhaps it even touches on a deeper truth: our own personal tragedy, if we dare to call it that, lies in recognizing the point where growth slows, and we settle into who we truly are.
Is this stagnation inevitable, though? Maybe not. Some might argue that character can always evolve, that with conscious effort, we can break through the mold and transform. But the question remains—how much of that is true evolution, and how much is merely decoration?
In the end, life may not follow the neat arcs of a novel, but the story is still ours to write. The question is whether we embrace our character as it is or continue striving to shape it, knowing we might only be adding flourishes to an already set foundation.
